So it really is me in front of the class...?
I passed the BodyPump training last weekend. It was so much easier than BodyCombat training which was mentally very tiring experience - everything was so new, new place, new people. But the hardest part was to believe I can do it - I was like in the Idols competition and afraid to only get embarrased. "What if I think I'm good, but in reality I totally suck". But it was a competition
only between me vs. me.
Well, some people are attending to my BC classes week after week so I can't be a 100% failure... So I had more trust in myself this time in BP training. It was physically easier as well - I did BP classes on Monday and Wednesday to get my muscles really familiar with the moves so they wouldn't hurt after the training weekend. And they didn't. Much.
The point is - my biggest obstacle on my way to achieving my every single dream is in my head. I can do it. Dammit. I can.
I've already had few BP classes this week and I'm so excited. Can't believe I love it so much. BodyPump, my first love with Les Mills... When I started this blog I had absolutely no idea I would actually be there in front of the class - and nobody would shout "hey what are you doing there, we're waiting for the REAL instructor".
This is truely a dream come true. Every time I push "play" in the class to start a new track, every time I tell people to fight like there's no tomorrow, every time I go home after a class or two. Even when I do something wrong, forget the choreography or say something stupid, I feel blessed to be there, being able to be only a human making mistakes, but getting better, trying to make people happy and strong.
I have not achieved a lot in my life. Well, I do study to become a nurse and it's really what I want to study - but sometimes I feel it's an endless journey. I do appreciate my relationships a lot and I give my all to people I care about. There is a huge amount of work behind my relationship with my boyfriend after some serious problems we have had to cope with. But becoming an instructor and growing as one - it's something I do on my own, but with a help of everyone who even talk with me about excercising or Les Mills or instructing or BodyPump or BodyCombat and so on. Or reads my blog and shares a comment. Please do.
After some really tough times in my life I got depressed - maybe that's why I haven't been updating this blog. I'm better now and instructing is one thing that gives me a feeling of some kind of satisfaction. Instructing is something I'm proud of. I wanted it and I got it. If only I would believe I can get anything I want. If only I didn't put any more obstacles in my head to make my life more miserable and push my dreams further and further.
I'm trying to update more often from now on. At the moment I have so much to think about, there is propably more to share with you as an instructor than as a participant. Instructing is really a challenge for me, as I try to become better and better and make my classes enjoyable. I'm fresh, new instructor, so there is so much to learn. Well, isn't that what life is about - you live, you learn?
New releases are here in Oulu, Finland, in 20.5. My first workshop as last time I just ordered the BodyCombat 31 DVD because there was no workshop in Oulu that time. So, I'm really excited! Meeting all those people, fellow instructors, and being a part of that... that's just great.
I wish you sunny May and happy days with laughter and sweat!
posted by Hanna P. @ Friday, May 04, 2007
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